50. ‘When’ the Four-Letter Word That’s Holding You Back + Affirmation of Self-Empowerment

Are you caught in a cycle of "When I... then I'll..." thinking? In today's episode of the Mindful Life Changes Podcast, we confront the "when" statements that are stealthily sabotaging your life's potential. Host Valerie Mekki empowers midlifers, especially women, to shed the procrastination and perfectionism often cloaked in these statements. From "When the kids are older, then I’ll..." to "When I have more money, then I’ll...", Valerie unpacks how these thoughts diminish our sense of self-worth and delay our dreams.

Replacing "when" with "what" can revolutionize your approach to daily living. This episode is not just about challenging your long-held beliefs but about transforming them. Valerie guides you through turning passive waiting into active engagement with life's possibilities. She provides practical steps to shift from dreaming to doing by asking empowering questions like "What do I want for myself right now?" and "What small step can I take today towards my dream?"

Join us as we flip the script from waiting for the perfect time to seizing the present moment with powerful affirmations and actionable advice. Don't miss this transformative journey towards living a life filled with purpose and passion, starting today.

Show Notes  & Chapters:

[00:00:00] Start

[00:00:42] Intro 

[00:02:00] Common when statements

[00:04:26] By replacing ‘When’ with ‘What’

[00:05:49] Start of the affirmation

[00:08:40] End of affirmation 

[00:08:52] Making your affirmations S.T.I.C.K.Y 

[00:10:06] End

Formerly known as the "Mindful Career Change Podcast," I decided to broaden our conversation to cover all life transitions, not just our careers.

Follow the show @mindfullifechanges and DM a question or comment about the life transitions you're going through too. I might answer your question in one of the episodes to help you and other midlifers navigate this everchanging and beautiful season of life.

OR

Connect with me on LinkedIn @valeriemekki

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Today's affirmation my time is now. I am capable and worthy of making my aspirations a reality. Today there's a four-letter word I often hear from midlifers, especially from women, that's holding them back from fulfillment, potential or even joy, with statements starting with when when the kids are older, then I'll take that course, when the work slows down, then I'll take care of my health and wellness. Or when I have more money, then I'll work on that passion project. The true meaning behind the word win is wait. You're waiting for perfection, whether it be timing, finances or personal readiness. So in today's episode, I want to replace this four-letter word with another one that is just as impactful With what? What sparks curiosity and action, even with the tiniest steps getting you closer to making your wind daydreams into a reality for a life filled with purpose and passion, right now, not later. Hello and welcome to the Mindful Life Changes podcast, where we dive deep into the challenges and transformations shaping our lives, from shifts in our roles at home and work to the transitions we navigate physically and mentally as we gracefully age. I'm your host, valerie Mechie, a career change guide and mindfulness enthusiast.

Speaker 1: 1:38

In today's episode, we'll take a closer look at the statements that start with when exploring what they truly mean and the subtle damaging effects they can have on our mindsets and self-worth, often without our awareness. These win statements frequently come up in casual conversations with others or as private thoughts you keep to yourself. Let me share some common win statements that we midlifers might be telling ourselves, along with the possible meanings behind them. Let's start with when I retire. Then I'll start doing what I really love. What you're really telling yourself is fulfillment is only for post-career life. How about when the kids are out of the house? I'll focus on my own needs? What you're really telling yourself is my dreams and desires aren't a priority. Or when I have more money saved, I'll take that risk.

Speaker 1: 2:33

This statement can prevent someone from pursuing opportunities now, While I would never make anyone feel bad or pressure them to neglect their essential needs. But if you do have some room in your finances and you have yet to take any action, then you might be telling yourself your passion and talent are not worth investing for a brighter future. Or do you say to yourself when I lose weight or get in shape, I'll be more confident. What you're really telling yourself is your self-worth is linked to your physical appearance. How about when things at work. Slow down, I'll take time for that hobby I used to love. What you're really telling yourself is work supersedes my personal well-being and interests and, lastly, when I have the perfect plan, I'll make a change. What you're really telling yourself is I don't know what I'm doing, so I'm not going to make any moves at all.

Speaker 1: 3:26

Did any of these statements resonate with you? Along with these when statements. You probably justified these thoughts with you're being a responsible parent by waiting, that money is the only thing you need to unlock your next chapter, or your schedule is too overwhelming to take care of yourself, and just barely hanging in there is the best you can do right now. How about those reasons? Do they sound familiar to you? Well, let's flip the script by replacing when with what. What is another four letter word that can spark curiosity and empower you to take immediate action, even if it's the smallest step. So the next time you catch yourself saying when, pause and transform that thought into these empowering what questions? What do I want for myself right now? What small step can I take today towards my dream? What will bring me joy today? What can I do today that I've been putting off? By replacing when with what. You're not just exploring possibilities, you're actively creating them. Each what question can help transform passive needs and daydreams into active pursuits, real-life moments you can enjoy today, right now that passion project documenting your recipes for that cookbook you want to publish one day, or meeting up for coffee with that friend who owns that business you admire and you just want to ask them questions. These small steps can help shift your mindset, allowing you more agency over the outcomes you desire and deserve.

Speaker 1: 5:04

We know life can be unpredictable. We're never guaranteed the plans we've created in our minds that it will align with the timing, with God or with the universe, because a parent could get sick, a child could move back into the home or you could get laid off. There are so many things that can happen over time. So why wait? The best time to start anything that will help you feel more fulfilled or content today was yesterday, so the next best time is right now. With that in mind, let's seize this present moment with an empowering affirmation to help us open the possibilities of starting something for you today, instead of waiting for life to be perfect. We'll start our affirmation practice by priming your mind and body so you'll be open to this affirmation, take a deep cleansing breath in and out, releasing all energy that doesn't serve you. I'll begin by reciting the affirmation twice and, while you listen to the affirmations, imagine you're writing this affirmation down on a whiteboard or you're watching someone write on the board for you. This will help with memorization. So let's begin.

Speaker 1: 6:29

My time is now. I am fully capable and worthy of making my aspirations a reality today. My time is now. I'm fully capable and worthy of making my aspirations a reality today. I'll repeat the affirmation again, but this time I want you to repeat it out loud to yourself so you can make a connection. My time is now. I'm fully capable and worthy of making my aspirations a reality today. I'll repeat the affirmation again and once again say it out loud to yourself my time is now. I'm fully capable and worthy of making my aspirations a reality today. Now imagine and visualize yourself in action, doing something that brings fulfillment and joy right now, or small action towards your long-term goals. I'll repeat the affirmation again and imagine yourself in this vision in full color. My time is now. I'm fully capable and worthy of making my aspirations a reality today. I'll repeat it one last time and give you a moment to let it sink in. Repeat it one last time and give you a moment to let it sink in my time is now. I'm fully capable and worthy of making my aspirations a reality today. When you're ready, slowly open your eyes. If you have them closed and if it feels comfortable to you, place your hand over your heart to help seal this affirmation practice with self-love and care.

Speaker 1: 8:41

This affirmation is yours to recite and practice for at least 21 days, once a day. It's most effective before you go to bed at night or when you wake up in the morning, before you start your day. To deepen your affirmation practice, consider making your affirmation sticky. Write this affirmation down on a sticky note and place it on your bathroom mirror as a daily reminder that you deserve to follow your desires and dreams today, not tomorrow. Or transform this affirmation into a short mantra my time is now. I am worthy. Repeat it to yourself silently as you go on a run or a walk, or right before you start your journal session, to help you explore the possibilities of what's next. Let's not just dream about a future where everything is perfect. Let's make today as fulfilling as possible by embracing what over, when you empower yourself to take control over your journey leading to a more vibrant and purpose-driven life.

Speaker 1: 9:40

Please make sure to subscribe and bookmark this episode so you'll have it handy whenever you need a quick guide of this affirmation. If you found this episode helpful, please share it with a family member or a friend who may be searching for this affirmation. If you found this episode helpful, please share it with a family member or a friend who may be searching for empowering affirmation or a mantra, or you can show your appreciation by giving us a rating of this podcast wherever you're listening. Your support will help other midlifers discover this podcast so it can grow and blossom. Thank you for sharing this time and space with me. Every moment you dedicate to being mindful, a step towards a more fulfilled and vibrant life. Keep embracing your midlife journey with an open heart and remember you are not alone in this. I look forward to our next mindful gathering. I'll talk to you soon.