12. Affirmation for Positive Self-Talk: Quiet Your Inner Critic

We all know that nagging voice that magnifies our flaws, undermines our potential, and fills us with self-doubt, especially during vulnerable moments like a career pivot. Meet your constant companion: the "inner critic." We all have one, that voice that loves to judge, doubt, and undermine us. But it’s time to set up some healthier boundaries and change the dialog between you and your inner critic. 

In this episode of the Mindful Life Changes Podcast (formerly known as the Mindful Career Change), host Valerie Mekki, takes a closer look at the role the inner critic plays in our lives and the art of quieting it.  She shares powerful insights and three simple actions to transform your relationship with your inner critic. Learn how to identify your inner critic, engage in a compassionate dialogue, and replace negative thoughts with positive self-talk affirmations.

Whether you're navigating a career pivot or simply seeking personal growth, this transformative episode will help you cultivate self-compassion, rewire your thoughts, and transform your inner critic to be more like a wise sidekick on your journey towards changing careers.

Show Notes and Timestamps:

[00:00:50] Today’s affirmation

[00:01:22] Who is your inner critic?

[00:02:04] You have more control and agency over your inner critic 

[00:02:43] Recognizing and identifying your inner critic 

[00:03:33] Create a dialogue with your inner critic

[00:04:40] Replace your negative thoughts with something better

[00:05:29] Practice and patience can transform your inner narrative 

[00:06:03] Start of affirmation with a body scan 

[00:06:26] Memorizing the affirmation

[00:07:02] Repeat the affirmation out loud to yourself 

[00:07:35] Visualization of the affirmation

[00:08:25] End of affirmation

[00:09:15] How to make your affirmation sticky

[00:10:02] End

Curious to learn how to make your affirmations sticky? Listen to episode 1 and I’ll walk you through how to make your affirmation practice a more effective and transformative tool for your career changing journey.

Formerly known as the "Mindful Career Change Podcast," I decided to broaden our conversation to cover all life transitions, not just our careers.

Follow the show @mindfullifechanges and DM a question or comment about the life transitions you're going through too. I might answer your question in one of the episodes to help you and other midlifers navigate this everchanging and beautiful season of life.

OR

Connect with me on LinkedIn @valeriemekki

Chapters

• 0:50 Today’s affirmation
• 1:22 Who is your inner critic?
• 2:04 You have more control and agency over your inner critic
• 2:43 Recognizing and identifying your inner critic
• 3:33 Create a dialogue with your inner critic
• 4:40 Replace your negative thoughts with something better
• 5:29 Practice and patience can transform your inner narrative
• 6:03 Start of affirmation with a body scan
• 6:26 Memorizing the affirmation
• 7:02 Repeat the affirmation out loud to yourself
• 7:35 Visualization of the affirmation
• 8:25 End of affirmation
• 9:09 How to make your affirmation sticky

Transcript

[00:00:00] Today's affirmation, I choose self compassion and love as I quiet my inner critic. The inner critic, we all have one. It's that internal voice or thought process that exists within each of us. It is a part of our subconscious mind that tends to be self critical, judgmental, and not always the kindest. Sometimes the inner critic can be very helpful, like a motivator, reminding us to eat healthy, go to bed early or work out.

But other times it can cross boundaries by undermining our self esteem, create self doubt and highlight our perceived flaws or mistakes. So how can we change our inner dialogue and tone of the inner critic and use it for personal strength and empowerment?

[00:00:50] Hello, and welcome to the Mindful Career Change Podcast. I'm your host, Valerie Mekki, a career change counselor and guide. And for today's positive affirmation, we're practicing a affirmation to help quiet your inner critic and internal dialogue. 

I choose self compassion and love as I quiet my inner critic.

[00:01:22] On your career changing journey, it is to be expected that you'll face new challenges along the way. It's part of the process, getting you closer towards work that's more rewarding and fulfilling. And in these moments of new experiences and challenges, you may find your inner critic become louder and more relentless.

It tends to magnify our flaws and mistakes while minimizing our strengths and accomplishments. This nagging voice arises during moments of vulnerability or self reflection. Which are moments that are occurring constantly during a career pivot. Which definitely happened to me during my career change.

[00:02:04] Thoughts of, you're not worthy, you don't have the resources and time to make this happen, or you're not smart enough to pull this off. Would pop into my head, undermining my potential, which ultimately affected the actions that I took or lack of.

But you have more control and agency over the dialogue in your head, more than you think. The antidote to negative self talk is having awareness and self compassion. And, I have three simple ways to help transform your relationship with your inner critic and put it back in its place.

[00:02:43] Number one, recognizing and identifying your inner critic. 

It's unrealistic that you can live your life without having some inner dialogue. Inner dialogue can also be healthy, reminding you to drink water, go to bed early, and cautioning you before you do something that's not wise or dangerous.

But when the dialogue is fueled by negative self talk, it's helpful to create some sort of distance between your true self and from your inner critic by naming it. Giving it a name like Negative Nancy. So sorry for all the Nancys out there, but you can name your inner critic however you want to. But by calling out your negative thoughts, with a silly name or character, makes the thoughts even more trivial and not worth believing.

[00:03:33] Number two, create a dialogue with your inner critic. 

When you've identified your inner critic with a name, you can challenge your thoughts or recognize the intention behind them. Like, if a thought pops up- “You're not capable of doing this”. Recognize where this thought is coming from. From a Debbie Downer, like, There goes Debbie trying to protect me from discomfort. You can step in and say, Thanks, Debbie. I know you're trying to help protect me, but I've got this.

[00:04:04] Or here's another example. Here's your inner critic showing up again. "You're going to make a fool of yourself if you try". Talk to your inner critic with self compassion, like, I know you're afraid of me being judged or not looking perfect, but there's no such thing of dying of embarrassment.

Challenge your thoughts and reply back with an act of self love and kindness. Something like, I want to try something new because I deserve it. Speaking to your inner critic with love and compassion is a perfect segue into the third action. 

[00:04:40] Replace your negative thoughts with something better. Take a negative thought and change the narrative to something encouraging that's also accurate. This is the best way to combat negative self talk. Remember all the positive affirmations that you have been practicing from previous episodes? Utilize them here. For example, when your inner critic tells you you're not good enough, counter it with, I am courageous and I am brave and I'm worthy of this career change, or I'm tapping into my potential where I focus, my energy will expand and grow.

Any of these affirmations can gradually reshape your internal narrative and boost your self esteem so you can show up at your best and quiet your inner critic. 

[00:05:29] Now quieting your inner critic is not going to happen overnight, but with consistent practice and patience, you can transform your inner narrative in a kinder and more empowering way. By cultivating awareness, reframing your negative thoughts, and embracing your self compassion, you'll begin to free yourself from the grips of self doubt. 

[00:05:52] So, are you ready to practice this positive affirmation of quieting your own inner critic with love and compassion?

[00:06:03]  Let's begin by priming your mind and body so you're open to accept this positive affirmation. We'll start by scanning your body, letting go of any tension or energy that doesn't serve you. And take a cleansing breath in and out. 

[00:06:26] I'll begin by reciting this affirmation twice. And while you hear the affirmations, imagine you're writing this affirmation down on a whiteboard or you're watching someone write it on the board for you. This will help with memorization, so let's begin. 

I choose self compassion and love as I quiet my inner critic.

I choose self compassion and love as I quiet my inner critic.

[00:07:02] I'll repeat this affirmation again, but this time I want you to repeat it out loud to yourself so you can make a connection. 

I choose self compassion and love as I quiet my inner critic.

I'll repeat this affirmation again. Once again, say it out loud to yourself.

choose self compassion and love as I quiet my inner critic. 

[00:07:35] Now, imagine your inner critic in front of you. And imagine you're going to give it a big, warm hug. because it's only there to protect you. I'll repeat this affirmation again and imagine yourself with this vision in full color.

I choose self compassion and love as I quiet my inner critic. 

I'll repeat it one last time and give you a moment to let it sink in. 

I choose self compassion and love as I quiet my inner critic. When you're ready. Slowly open your eyes if you had them closed.

[00:08:25] This affirmation is yours to recite and practice for 21 days at least once a day. It's most effective before you go to bed at night or when you wake up in the morning, right before you start your day. This could be a gentle reminder that you can coexist with your inner critic, but with boundaries set with love and compassion.

[00:08:49] You can take your affirmation practice a step further by making your affirmation sticky, by writing it down on a sticky note and placing it somewhere visible as a reminder that you are capable of transforming your thoughts and quieting your inner critic. Or stacking this affirmation with another affirmation to help solidify the self love and compassion you deserve every day.

[00:09:15] If you're curious to learn more on how to make your affirmation sticky, which is the acronym on how to make your affirmation practice more effective and sustainable. Go back to episode one, where I walk you through the steps of how to make your affirmation sticky so you can have a transformative impact on your career changing journey.

Please make sure to subscribe and bookmark this episode so you'll have it handy whenever you need a quick guide of this affirmation.

If you thought this episode was helpful, please feel free to share it with a friend or a family member who may need a little guidance on how to quiet their own inner critic or help rate it wherever you're listening so it can help this podcast grow and blossom, so other career changers will find it.

[00:10:02] Thank you again for joining me, and most importantly, thank yourself for taking the time to make a mindful career change. I'll talk to you soon.